question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
