Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
