it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
