She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
