I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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