Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i will never coherently bang her
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
