when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
