Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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