Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
