hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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