I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
