I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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