Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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