I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
