Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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