i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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