take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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