sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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