took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
