I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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