does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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