she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
