why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So vagazzling was a success
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
