i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
