My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
