it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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