I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
