then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Randomize
