You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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