I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
