dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
