her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I AM VODKA MAN
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
