Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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