no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
