It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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