Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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