Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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