This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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