i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
