Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
