Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
