bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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