if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
