so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
