i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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