oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
