i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
