Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
