Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
