it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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